I've realized in the last week or so that I raise my voice more than I should. Let's just say it as it really is.....I yell at my kids a lot. It's not that I'm always in their face telling them what they're doing wrong. It's more my technique of choice when Graham is getting into something and I want him to stop right away or Lucy has started wailing because she has to come inside and I choose to yell over her crying and tell her how much trouble she's going to be in if she doesn't stop. It's not just when I'm upset, either. I yell from room to another all the time, too.
This bad habit has been brought more to my attention recently because I see Lucy doing it more and more. It seems like she says something once and then resorts to yelling it if she's not answered right away. Graham isn't a quiet little one either. Even though I don't understand what he is yelling at me (probably better that way), the face that he makes and fluctuations in his voice sound all to familiar.
So, I'm posting this in hopes that it will help motivate me to do better. I have a few friends that I watch with their kids and it seems like they have much more control over their emotions and because of that, their kids are more calm. I want my presence to ultimately bring more peace......not more stress. I know that by working on this, it will welcome a more content spirit into our home.
Wish me luck! More sweet tones and less strained voices!
9 comments:
You are so honest, I tend to be a yeller too and I know it's going to come back and bite me. I had a friend that everytime her kids got louder and yell, she would speak softer and softer so her kids would stop and have to really listen to what she was saying, I don't know if it always worked, but she said it helped with the noise level in the house a bit. Good luck, don't be too hard on yourself!
Now your just making me feel like I should yell less. I have no ood ideas, because I'm in the same boat. My problem is my kids only respond to yelling. I've tried other things and have gotten no where.
Um, you are not alone in the yelling. I can totally relate. And don't worry, George is really loud too - maybe it's a family trait ;) I yell way to much too, so I will join you in your challenge to be better!
This is something I work on to, and continue to, and on, and on. It really is the easiest way to handle most situations. I keep telling myself I need to think for a second, and think of a better way to handle it. But, when nerves are already shot, to late for thinking. So, I continue to try to do better. Best of luck to both of us! :)
Oh I am so with you! Sometimes I'll lay into Karly with a hard lecture and then come away not even realizing how yucky I just made the atmosphere until Adam gives me a look like, "was that all really necessary?" Then I feel ashamed. He's much better in that department than I am. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Aren't the dads supposed to be the disciplinarians and the moms the softer spoken parents? That's not the case in my house. I'm getting better at keeping my cool(especially when there are other people around), but there is definitely still room for improvement.
When you start yelling at me, I'll be really worried. Until then, I will think you are normal. I think we all have lots of room to work on this bad habbit. And why in the world can't our kids just pick up our GOOD habbits?
I'm so glad your not afraid to admit you're human! I think the Mom's that act like they don't raise their voices are Liars! Sometimes at the end of the day my head hurts from hearing my own loud voice! I would love to have the self control to simply speak softer as the kids got louder.
Mags,
I'll admit I was very frustrated with Pete this morning and slammed the door. He just wouldn't stop arguing with me (I realized afterwards I didn't have to argue with him). Of course I scared him and Abby to death and then had two criers on my hands. Also not a good way to handle the kiddos. Good luck, I need some also!
Mags, lets face it YOUR A HICKMAN!!! Did you catch my yelling tone... It's in your blood. Just accept it. The world needs some Yeller's. Heaven knows I married one, but hey, I still love her and think its great. It's what makes a Hickman a Hickman...It's kinda like smokin, you might as well just accept that it's a habbit and enjoy it, instead of wasting soooo much time being miserable trying to change it.
GOOD LUCK!!!
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