"Got a light?"

Oh, this little man keeps us on our toes.  The last few weeks Jason and I have just been scratching our heads and hoping we're doing right by this kid.  Here's why:

A couple weeks ago, Graham came in from playing outside.  He sat down next to me and I said, "Hey. What have you been up to out there?"  I knew he was playing with the neighbor kids and he had come in earlier to ask if he could go to the grass field at the end of our block.  Well, good thing I asked.  Keep in mind as you read this, I have been pretty sick and pretty injured the last few weeks (more on that in my update later, but it should be mentioned here as well).  The following dialogue came next: 

Graham:   "It's a secret."  Classic red flag.  Never a good thing when coming out of Graham's mouth.

Me:  "Graham......what were you doing."  

Graham:  "Smoking.  And making smoke."

Me:  "What?"  

Graham:  "Smoking. And making smoke."

Me:  "Like...with cigarettes!?!"

Graham:  "Yeah."

Me:  Now, clearly sitting up and notably upset.  "Like....did you have a lighter!?"

Graham:  "Yeah."

So now, I'm up off the couch trying to find my flip-flops.  All the while I'm asking the same questions from before and he's answering the same way....clearly not getting why it's a big enough deal that I'm actually getting up from my position of choice and dealing with it.  I'm dressed like a hobo and my hair is crazy, but I'm making my way down to the little field to see what went down.  

I find Frank, Frankie's dad, who seemed to have an understanding of the situation.  Graham and Frankie found some cigarette butts.  Graham says, "Hey!  Let's smoke 'em!"  (Proud parent moment right there.)  Frankie says, "Yeah!  I'll go get my mom's lighter!"  (At this point, I really, really wish I could have seen Graham's reaction to Frankie wanting to get the lighter.  Was he shocked?  Was he excited?  Was he nervous?)  Frankie gets said lighter and they proceed to light the cigarette butts, take a few big drags and then begin to try and light a bush on fire.  Awesome.  

Most of this information came from Arianna, another neighbor girl who was telling them to stop (supposedly).  All was confirmed by the accused, Graham and Frankie.  What follows is many discussions and talks about how disappointed we were that he would choose to do that, etc., etc.  His punishment was two days without going outside, playing with friends, or playing the computer.  So, the next two days we had the opportunity to talk about it even more.  Wow.  Some of the ideas in this kid's head just floor me.  Very little remorse was shown until the end of the second day.  Before then, he would talk to us and say what we wanted to hear and then throw one of these out, "I don't see why it was bad."  Ugh!  When alone, Jason and I would say things to each other like, "Have we really not talked about not smoking, doing drugs, etc.?"  The answer was always yes.  He knew better.  Another conversation:

Graham:  "The big kids do it."

Me:  "What big kids?"

Graham:  "The cool ones...you know the big ones.  Like the kids at the park." (He has never seen kids    smoke at the park, but there are some 5th graders that are there hanging out when we are there sometimes.  He's always fascinated with them and tries to hang with them and be "cool".  

What follows this dialogue is a talk about heroes and what kind of person he wants to be when he grows up.  Does he want to be in prison?  Does he want to be addicted to smoking and drugs and have to spend all of his money on that?  I try to slip in an unrelated chat later in the day about missions and mention that boys and girls that go on missions have to make good choices.  You get the jist.  Lots of discussions, lots of chats.  Lots of me biting my tongue and stopping my arm mid swing as I prepare to smack him on the side of the head.  

What seemed to help sink it in is when I talked to him about how he had broken the law.  Although, I was less convinced when I overheard him talking about his antics with another one of his friends.  He wasn't bragging, but there was definitely a "tone" when he brought up the law part.  I could sense just a teeny bit of that "coolness" he talked about earlier.   Oh man.  

In the evenings, Jason and I continue to talk about it and I just have to let myself smile and remember, he is just six years old.   I know there are many "experiences" to come and I hope and pray that Jason and I will be in a good place spiritually to know the right words to say to help guide and direct him to make good choices.  

In the meantime, while I'm thinking about it, I should go find a better hiding place for my smokes ;)

Lucille Jane

There are so many things I want to remember about my Lucy at nine years old.  This girl is sweet, funny, emotional, sassy, obedient (with a dash of whine), and is always ready for a good time.

Lucy is still putting up with school and doesn't dread it as much as she has in the past.  She still hates Mondays.  She says Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays are her least favorite days of the week because Brooklyn has Math Club those days and can't play after school.  She is a great student and always does well.  Jason still gives a candy bar for every 100% on spelling tests.  She rarely misses any.  I never have to bother her about doing her homework.  She doesn't enjoy doing it, but she always takes care of it on her own.

Lucy joined the Choir Club at her school.  They stay after every Monday for an hour and 15 minutes.  They get to sing a lot of karaoke (Lucy's specialty) and she always reports that she sang another "solo" during club.  She enjoys Taylor Swift, but still claims Sarah Barailles as her favorite singer.

Every Monday evening, Lucy now has piano lessons.  She really wanted to start up again.  We had this girl sign a contract, stating that she would practice without Mom and Dad having to nag.  Most of the time, she sticks to it.  But, on other days.....wow.  She pounds that piano and yells out the counting (as her teacher instructs her) and you would think she's being tortured.  She gets soooo angry sometimes when she is tired and just wants to "RELAX!".

Which leads me to the next thing I want to remember.  For the last couple years, Lucy has always apologized at night for the things done during the day.  She seriously never, ever misses.  She uses a blanket statement like, "Sorry for anything I did mean today".  We can hear her yell it to Graham and Benny across the hall, too.  Now that she has an iTouch, we get our nightly apologies via text.  They look like this:  "I love u mom.  Good night sorry if I was mean today or/and rood love u.  P.S. Can u tickle my back?"  Then, when I text back and say good night, she'll respond with, "P.S. if you can't tickel my back can u at least tuck me in".  Pretty funny, right?

This funny girl finally got the "bangs" she has been wanting for a long time.  I haven't taken a picture, yet.  She has been asking for months.  We cut a few swoopy bangs at the beginning of the year, but she wasn't satisfied.  We finally went for a trim and I let her go for it.  I love how they look on her!  She looks great!

Lucy girl lives for playing with Brooklyn.  She is always so mad when it doesn't work out.  Every day she asks and if the time allows it, they will play at our house or at hers.  No matter how many hours they are together, Lucy is never happy when the playdate ends.  Some things never change.  I remember picking her up from friends house when she was as little as 3 and she would throw huge tantrums because she wanted to stay and play.

This girl wants a pet sooo badly.  It comes up at least once a week and at least once a month it's an all out cry fest.  During these said rants, she'll go to her room and yell out her frustrations through the tears.  "I'm the only kid in my class without a pet!!"  "IT'S NOT FAIR!"  "Everyone wants a dog, but MOOOM says NO!"  and so on and so on.  It hasn't broken me down.....and it never will.

A couple months ago, Lucy decided that she wanted to start "going running".  Jason told her that he would go with on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, but she would have to set her alarm for 6:30 and come wake him up.  She has taken him up on it!  I'm so proud of her!  They go at least twice a week and they are up to 1.25 miles without stopping to walk.

Some of Lucy's favorites right now:

• Disney's Sonny with a Chance (love Netflix)
• Chicken Cordon Bleu (we bought a box of them from Sam's Club...ya' know, the frozen ones you stick in the oven.  She LOVES them.  
• Whoppers  (She chooses these every time for our weekly movie night)
• Still eats cereal every day for breakfast.  Usually Honey Bunches of Oats or Honey Nut Cheerios
• She still claims that "Harry and the Hendricksons" (Harry and the Hendersons) is her favorite movie.  We watched it once when Jason was deployed.  I was reminded of how much swearing is in it, so we haven't watched it since.  
• Chapstick.  Oh the drama we have over chapstick.  This girl has chronic trouble with severe dry lips.  She has a habit of licking them and wiping them on her shirt, so they get really bad sometimes.  So, when she loses her chapstick (which is a lot) you would think the girl was set on fire. There's been a couple times when she's come home from school and she didn't have her chapstick with her all day and she comes in frantic and acts like an addict that really needs a fix.  We all drop what we're doing and look for one of the numerous sticks we hope to have around the house.  We have a new deal.  If her chapstick gets lost before 10 days has past, the cost of the next one comes out of her allowance.  

I sure love this little girl of mine.  I constantly worry that I am too hard on her and expect too much.  Just like she tells me all the time, "It's hard to be the oldest!"  It really is.  I am learning how to do this and she's the first go around.  I feel so blessed to be her mother and I am proud of the young woman she is becoming.  

The Day of Love

We carried on our simple Valentines Day traditions this year.  We had our family dinner the day before so that Jason could join us.  Thursdays are his long days at school and he's usually not home until 9:00 pm.  

I had a lot of fun decorating the table this year.  Nothing to fancy, but Jason took the kiddos to the park for a while as I got everything ready.  It was nice to have some alone time to prepare.  

I saw these hot dogs on Pinterest and decided to have some with our pizza.  The kids thought they were pretty funny.  

Jason made our pizza.  Notice the beautifully crafted heart pepperonis.  Yep....I'm cool like that.  

He even made another one that had a small section of BBQ for me!

While at the table, we took turns talking about each person and everyone said a few things they love about them.  So easy, but so fun!

We always give the kiddos their favorite cereal and a book for their Valentine.  Graham got Cookie Crisp with an Easy Reader Avengers book.  Lucy got Cocoa Puffs and a Cupcake Club series book (wasn't sure it would be a good one, but she loved it).  Benny got Trix and an Easy Reader Monster Fighters book.  

It was interesting to see how each of them chose to eat their cereal.  Lucy still has a good amount of her cereal left.  Graham has a bit, too.  Benny, the gullible/sweet one, shared more than the others, so his has been gone a while.  

I made this easy little gift for Jason this year.  Again, I found it on Pinterest.  It was fun thinking of 52 reasons I love my man.  He loved it and it was fun watching him read it.  

Homemade Valentines

We opted for homemade Valentines again this year.  This year was really fun!  Both Graham and Lucy helped with all of it and we all enjoyed the project.  

I love that Graham has Benny's super hero mask and cape on as he cuts the pipe cleaners.  Classic.

I found this cute alien Valentine idea online.  I knew Graham would be able to help with nearly all of it.  He drew most of the faces on, cut and curled the pipe cleaners, and signed his name.  

It says, "Happy V-alien-tines Day"  Love Graham

Lucy wanted to do the ladybugs again this year.  One of the few bonuses of moving to a new school.  She did almost everything.  I just helped hot glue the suckers to the body and stuck the brads in for the wings.  

Coaching @ Deer Valley

What a fun experience this was!  Back when I found out I would be moving to Phoenix, my dear friend, Michelle Pulley Bodily, had just gotten the head soccer coaching position at Deer Valley High School.  I secretly hoped she'd ask me to be her assistant.  She did and at first it wasn't going to work with my fam's schedule (Jason's classes, childcare for the kiddos).  So I had to turn it down.  I was sooooo bummed.  Then, she called me back a month or two later and asked if I'd be available to assistant coach just for December and January.  The school gave them a stipend for an additional coach.  Well, to make a long story short, I was able to!  It ended up only being a total of 4 weeks, but I had a great time and loved every minute of it!

I was technically helping with the JV team, but helped Michelle out with varsity during practices.  Coach Cruz was the main JV coach. These girls were so fun and surprisingly very kind and immediately sweet to me.  I was so grateful!

Some of the varsity players.

This was at our last JV game at Boulder Creek High School.  These girls kept me laughing and at least pretended to think I was pretty funny, too.  

The girls COULD NOT get over how much Michelle and I look alike.  They said it ALL THE TIME. So funny!  When they found out we were both Mormon......they couldn't believe it.  

So, nearly every game was sooo cold.  I know, how cold could it be?  It's Phoenix.  But the varsity games were always played under the lights and didn't start till 7:00 pm.  Jason and I would try to come up with ways I could stay warm and not be shivering like crazy the whole time.  

The banquet at the end of the season was a lot of fun.  It made me sad that I won't be helping next year.  I really did enjoy getting to know they and actually helping a few of them understand the game better.  

Here's a few of my "favorites".  Don't tell.  

Gabby, Erin, and Micki

My twin and I 

Gabby. Erin, Jackson, Micki, Haley

Coach Cruz, Jeanetta, and I

What a fun month it was!  I realized, again, how much I LOVE soccer and truly miss it.  I loved laughing and joking around with Michelle again and felt cool when she'd ask my advice on something.  

I feel like I'm entering a new phase in life.  I've been working with the Young Women in our ward for 6 months now and I truly love it!  6 years ago I had the same calling in a different ward and I HATED it.  Maybe I've learned to chill a little bit (imagine that) and I can see the opportunity I have to really connect with this age.  So fun!!  

Arizona State Capitol

Lucy and her class had a field trip last month to the Arizona State Capitol.  Not one of the more exciting field trips I've been privileged to tag along with, but educational all the same.  We made our way to downtown Phoenix for the big tour.  

Brooke and Lucy 

This cool monument was in the park across from the capitol buildings.  The highlight of the trip was the  1 1/2 hour long lunch at the park after the tour.  These two crazy girls played hide and seek and chase nearly the whole time.  

Lucky me, I even got to ride on the bus with all the kiddos. :)   The three of us snoozed a bit on the drive home.  

This was one of the rooms where the original governing officials wrote the state constitution.  

The one and only fact that I retained from the field trip: 

The state of Arizona celebrated it's 101st b-day on Feb. 14th.  

Best Buds

These two girlies are the best of friends.  In this picture they are selling rice crispy treats in front of our house.  Lucy begs and begs to sell stuff all the time.  I finally took pity on her, but was too lazy to make the cookies she originally hoped for.  

This move was tough on Lucy, but her friendship with Brooklyn has been such a blessing.  They met the first week at church and we made sure to sign Lucy up into the same 4th grade class.  As far as personality's go, they are opposites.  Brooklyn is very low-key and super "whatever" style.  Nothing gets a reaction out of her and she rarely gets fired up.  Lucy leans more toward the dramatic side and is very, very animated and it doesn't take much to get her excited or to get her mad.  Brooklyn's mom and I have talked about how it's been a good match, because they really balance each other out.  Lucy is always sooo upset when they can't play after school.  Brooklyn is always happy to play, but doesn't get upset when it doesn't work out.  

The two of them are among just a handful of LDS members in their school.  In their class they are the only blondies (remember.....Arizona).  They have been asked many, many times if they are twins.  

Along with this awesome friendship, comes a sad realization that we have to leave our good friends here in Phoenix in 4 short months.  Lucy is already mourning her separation from her buddy, Brooklyn.   

Crazy Boys

These boys are as wild and goofy as ever.  

The two of them share a room.  After I've tucked them in, we can hear them laughing and joking around.  This is usually followed by a short burst of crying from one or the other (playing too rough).  We have to lock the door, otherwise Benny keeps coming out.  

The latest toy obsession at our house are these little Lego Nintendo guys.  They're sold in these little "mystery packs" so, for $3, you get one pack and you just have to hope it's one you don't have or one you want.  Jason and I have gotten pretty good at feeling them out and figuring out who it is.  

The only frustrating part is when they lose parts.  For some reason it makes me CRAZY!  I get so irritated when they can't find Diddy's leg or Toad loses his arm.  The two of them fight over whose is whose, so Graham's Legos all have black soles (marked with a permanent marker).