A moment.

I had a moment this week that I want to remember.  It’s times like this that I wish I were better at writing.  I wish I could express myself better and more poetically.  But alas, even that last sentence I typed took me way too long and I deleted it three times before moving on.  I can’t even express myself when trying to explain how I wish I could express myself.  Oh well.  The moment was profound, and I want to remember it years from now when all my kiddos are grown. 

It was just a regular Thursday morning.  Organized chaos as I try to get Lucy and Graham out the door to school while juggling Sully and Benny’s needs along the way.  Breakfast is in full swing as I try and make lunches and not forget to pack the snack for Graham and food for Lucy to have after school before swim practice.  “Do you need your flute today?”  “Make sure to wear your spirit shirt, Graham.”  “Benny, please stop singing.  Graham has asked you three times.”  “Will someone give Sullivan some more Honeycomb?”  I think to myself, “I don’t have time to write their little lunch note from Mom today….don’t worry about it.  No, just hurry and do it.” 

So, craziness, but all is well and we’re on target for the bus.  Graham is getting his jacket and backpack on and Benny is preparing for the short walk to the bus stop.  (This includes choosing at least three “guys” to come with us and sporting his flag football jersey that he got from practice the night before.)  I call for the kids to come kneel down for prayer in the small entryway to the house.  Jason leaves early for work, so it’s just me and the kiddos.  I kneel down on the rug with a screaming Sullivan on my lap (he wants to go outside) and call again for the kids.  Lucy yells in her best preteen voice, “I’m COMING! Geeze!” as she stomps her way down the stairs. Graham is standing up trying to zip up his jacket, so I lean over and zip it for him while trying to comfort Sullivan.  Benny is trying to get his little feet into flip flops while telling me all about how he’s going to ride his bike and asking me if I could carry his toys because he won’t be able to hold them.  I assure him that I can and that I need him to sit down.  All the while, Sully is still screaming and Lucy has joined us on the rug.  It was then that “the moment came”.  It was short, maybe only 5 seconds.  I looked around as Graham resituated his backpack on his shoulders and Ben got his shoes on and Lucy positioned her headband and Sullivan fussed.  This was craziness!  We have a tiny little house with four not so tiny personalities.  Someday they won’t need me to zip their coats and brush their hair and make their lunches.  They won’t need more Honeycomb (at least from me) and they won’t be in my little house kneeling on our little rug getting ready for prayer.  I asked Lucy to say it, and just took in the moment.  I would normally get really sad and sentimental in moments like that (like I am right now as I type this), but the emotion was different.  It was gratitude and happiness.  Someday, they will grow up and not need me for all the little things, but right then and in that moment I was so grateful that they are mine in my little house and on my little rug.