Tomorrow is the day!

Tomorrow is the day!  We are going to meet our brand new baby boy!  Originally he was supposed to come on Thursday, October 10th, but we got a call from our new doctor here in Sigonella and she feels strongly that we shouldn't wait.  She is concerned that because my water broke with both Graham and Benny, that my water may will break and will have to deliver in the middle of the night.  There aren't as many resources here at this small hospital, so she is worried there may be an emergency situation.  She wants the surgery to be controlled and happy.

Most would be excited that we get to not be pregnant four days early.  I am, but it's a little more complicated than that.  We've only lived here six short weeks, so figuring out child care for my three kiddos has been a little hard.  Actually, it hasn't been hard, everyone has been so kind and willing to help us out, but it has been humbling as I ask people that haven't known us all that long to take care of them.  We had it all set-up for Thursday-Saturday, so today I'll finish getting it all figured out for Monday-Wednesday.

That being said, I have so many emotions today.  I'm excited.  We get to meet our last baby boy and see his sweet little face.

I'm nervous.  I'm having major surgery tomorrow.  I've done this three times already, so I have an idea of the pain that comes with recovery and the itchiness that the painkillers give me.  I'm not nursing this baby (a whole other post), so I'm nervous about my milk coming in and dealing with that pain.

I'm worried.  I'm worried for how my other kids will do in my absence and with the new babe.  Mostly Benny.  He has been my little shadow for so long.  Since the move, he's been extra unsure and clingy.  I know he will be okay, but I still worry.

I'm sad.  Benny has been my travel and shopping companion and my baby for four years.  I'm sad that he won't be my baby anymore.  I remember having these same feeling with Lucy and Graham when the next sibling was getting ready to come, but right now my heart aches a little for my sweet Benny and the end of his time as the youngest child.

I'm scared.  Newborns intimidate me.  So little, so unpredictable.  When I tell people that this is our fourth baby, I get comments like, "Oh, you're an old pro at this." No....no I'm not.  The first three months of each of my children's life is a blur.  That's one reason I'm not nursing.  I want to remember more.

I'm grateful.  I feel very blessed to have had a relatively easy pregnancy and that our little man has stayed put through all the stress of moving to a different country.  Packing, driving, hotel living, traveling across the world, unpacking, etc.  I'm grateful that I'm sharing this experience with my kind, happy, wonderful husband, J Ray.  I can't imagine going to the hospital tomorrow and facing the weeks to come if he weren't right there with me.  Lately I've heard so many stories of military wives whose husbands missed the births of their children and don't even meet their babies for months.  That would be so hard!

I know tomorrow will be a very special day.  I can't wait to hear him cry for the first time and see who he looks like.  I know the Lord will take care of my family as we welcome our guy into the world.