Warning: A little long and a little boring, but a little therapeutic for me. So...read on if you have a little time.
I've been going through a little bit of a rough patch these past few weeks. We have a lot of changes that are going to take place in the coming months and it seems the anticipation is taking its toll on my emotions.
When I think back to other times in my life when major life events have taken place (birth of a child, moving, new job) , it seems like I've always had a hard time coping. My security boat is rocking a little bit and my reaction is to curl up into the fetal position and think about how horrible it's going to be to die drowning. As each event comes and goes, I would like to think my coping skills have gotten a little better, but this time around I'm getting more disappointed in myself because I feel like I should be able to handle these relatively simple trials with less drama.
A major symptom of stress that I'm suffering with right now is that I can't make any decisions and no matter what I finally decide to do, in my mind I've always chosen wrong. This is usually with small stuff, like what I'm feeding the kids, how I handle a discipline situation, what I buy, things I eat etc, etc. It can be very exhausting!
A friend of mine loaned me a book that has helped and I've really enjoyed. It's called Being The Mom, by Emily Watts. There were more than a few parts that struck a chord with me. The final chapter goes through the different stages of parenthood and lists the things "you just have to live through" followed by the things "you're going to want to remember". Being how I'm in the toddler and preschool phase of parenting, some of her insights caused me stop and reflect about the time I spend on unimportant things. For example: We have to live through tantrums, toilet training, tears and frustration. But along with all that, we get to be there for the funny conversations each day and the see their little personalities that are forming. We'll want to remember what it feels like to be someone's favorite person in the whole wide world (that one got me a little teary....remember, I'm on an emotional roller coaster right now).
"The biggest mistake of all would be to dwell on the frustration of the live throughs while letting the want to remembers slip through your fingers."
I truly want to be the type of person that can just go with the flow and take life in stride. I want to be able to live each day without worrying about what's coming months away and is ultimately out of my control. Hopefully I can find a way to see the rocking boat as more of an adventure ride and not a death sentence!
11 comments:
Maggie...thank you for that post. I needed that reminder. I am going to have to check out that book. I am sorry that you've hit a rough patch and I hope it gets better soon. If it helps any, I think you are amazing. :)
I'm going through a rough patch myself...so it's kind of nice to know I'm not the only one! Sorry things are rough for you right now...but all I can say is I know things will work out for you. As I look back on some of the trials I've been through I remember how hard it always is in the middle but then you get through it and you come out of it okay, and you wonder why you got so stressed in the first place! Hang in there and enjoy your kids...look for the things that put a smile on your face! And try not to get down...you are a good person and a good mom, and it will all work out!
I know you know this, but it will all work out. It always does. You are a wonderful person and I know you'll make it work.
I need to check that book out. Sometimes I feel like I'm letting precious time slip through my fingers.
I'll be thinking about you.
If you could only see yourself as so many others see you, you would never doubt for a second just how awesome and amazing you really are. :)
I am so sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I can certainly relate. I hope these verses will be an encouragement to you. They are to me when I get down. I feel much like you do when things get to be overwhelming.
Philippians 4:19 -"I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (KJV)
II Corinthians 12:9-10 -"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness, Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take Pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am WEAK, then am I STRONG."
Proverbs 3:5 (KJV) -"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and He SHALL direct thy paths."
HUGS!
Not living in/enjoying my current situation and anticipating my future is one of the hardest things for me too. When something is looming on the horizon it seems to consume my "now". I posted a note on my computer that says "focus on today" to try and keep me on track. Just know you're not alone! It seems like a lot of us moms with preschool/toddler age kids are struggling with all that this stage of life throws our way. Only advice I have is to try and take it a day at a time. That's the mode I'm in and some days it works, other days...not so much. You have lots of people that love you, including me!
So I have another book recommendation... "Believing Christ, the Parable of the Bicycle". It is a great book, really hits on trying to handle everything and do it all perfect. Change is hard, You are a Great mom, far more creative and patient than I ever dream of being.
I love you Maggie
Sometimes it is freakish how much we are alike. I can completely relate to everything that you wrote. Thanks for your venting - those quotes made me a little teary as well. I definitely have a hard time not dwelling on the hard parts of parenting (namely when George stuff our toothbrushes down the bathroom sink, or spills bleach on my new pants). We really love you, and if you ever need to vent, you should just call me and I will do the same. I am so glad that I can be in your family!
Maggie...hang in there. You are a strong, capable woman with a beautiful family. I don't know if this is what you're referring to or not, but it was really, really hard to plan and prepare for Jason's deployment (especially after we found out about the pregnancy). Honestly, the anticipation of his leaving was probably the very worst part of it all. After that, I felt like it was more embracing the situation that you're already in and choosing to deal with it or not. People say things like, "oh, you're so strong...I could never do that..." but I think it's more like, what else am I going to do. You push through it and it's challenging and not enjoyable- but everyday, you're that much closer to being together. Aren't you so grateful for the knowledge that you're family is eternal and your Heavenly Father isn't going to make you go through anything you can't handle?
You're amazing...you really are and I've always admired you in many ways.
Great post! Thanks for your thoughts. I loved it. I hope you can find the confidence in yourself because you are an awesome person and awesome mom!!! Did you hear Elder Uchtdorf last night...it was awesome!!!!!!
Post a Comment